15 lessons to change your life
My top lessons from my favorite personal improvement books
We’re all on our own journeys of personal growth, and sometimes the right book can make all the difference. In this newsletter, I’m excited to share 15 takeaways from my top 5 personal development books. These books have been game-changers for me, offering real-world advice and powerful insights that can help you grow and thrive. Let’s take a look at how they can guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself.
Never Finished - David Goggins
Lesson number 1, What is belief
“There are two levels to belief. There’s the surface level, which our coaches, teachers, therapists, and parents love to preach. “Believe in yourself,” they all say, as if the thought alone can keep us afloat when the odds are against us in the battle of our lives. But once exhaustion sets in, doubt and insecurity tend to penetrate and dissipate that flimsy brand of belief.
“Then there is belief born in resilience. It comes from working your way through layers of pain, fatigue, and reason, and ignoring the ever-present temptation to quit until you strike a source of fuel you didn’t even know existed. One that eliminates all doubt, makes you certain of your strength and the fact that eventually, you will prevail, so long as you keep moving forward. That is the level of belief that can defy the expectations of scientists and change everything. It’s not an emotion to be shared or an intellectual concept, and nobody else can give it to you. It must bubble up from within.”
These are two of the most powerful paragraphs I have ever read. In order to succeed in life, we must have the second kind of belief. With it, no matter what life throws our way, we will win.
Lesson number 2, Focus on the present moment
Many individuals often fixate on the distant future, longing for relief from their current struggles. However, in this forward-looking pursuit, they inadvertently overlook the profound lessons embedded within the present journey. True growth and development stem from embracing the challenges and fully engaging with the unfolding path. Without cultivating a sense of presence amidst adversity and shifting focus away from the end goal, individuals may find themselves hindered in their pursuit of reaching their full potential. Rather than incessantly seeking reprieve from hardship, it is imperative to redirect attention towards the immediate challenges at hand. Anticipating the end of a goal only serves to divert attention from the necessary actions required in the present moment.
Lesson number 3, You and you alone have the power to escape your mental prison
We all have mental prisons that we have built for ourselves. These self-imposed barriers, influenced by our life experiences such as a challenging upbringing, divorce, or struggles with self-confidence, often shape our narratives and determine our actions. However, it's crucial to realize that you alone possess the power to break free from this mental confinement. You have the ability to rewrite your story. No one else is coming to rescue you. Your life will change only when you initiate change yourself.
The Book on Mental Toughness - Andy Frisella
Lesson number 4, Your routines=who you are
It's simple: your habits define you. Are you consistently eating McDonald's while binge-watching Netflix? You're likely to be fat and lazy. Conversely, are you prioritizing early morning runs and nourishing your body throughout the day? You’re probably fit and energized. Your consistent actions shape your identity.
Lesson number 5, Mental toughness is a perishable skill, and you must train it frequently.
While mental toughness and discipline are commonly viewed as innate qualities, they are actually skills that can be nurtured and honed. Just like any skill, they demand ongoing practice and dedication for enhancement. It's essential to recognize that, similar to any skill set, they can deteriorate if not consistently trained. Therefore, regular training is crucial to prevent regression.
Lesson number 6, You can’t be a high achiever and mediocre. You must choose one or the other.
A quote from Andy’s book summarizes this well: “The nasty reality of success is that it is the boring and often mundane tasks that bring the highest level of success.” High achievers do what is required to win no matter how they feel about it. While the mediocre cut corners and give up when challenges arise. What kind of standard will you set for yourself? Decide today.
Discipline is Destiny - Ryan Holiday
Lesson number 7, Self-discipline is key
“Temperance is not deprivation but command of oneself physically, mentally, spiritually—demanding the best of oneself, even when no one is looking, even when less is allowed.” Hold yourself to a high standard. Control yourself in all areas of your life.
Lesson number 8, Discipline gives us freedom
Discipline is the cornerstone of freedom, providing the foundation upon which one can build a life of autonomy and fulfillment. Through disciplined habits and routines, individuals gain control over their actions, thoughts, and emotions, liberating themselves from the constraints of impulsivity and procrastination. By adhering to a structured regimen, one can achieve long-term goals and aspirations, unlocking the potential for personal growth and success. Discipline empowers individuals to make conscious choices aligned with their values and objectives, leading to a life of purpose and authenticity. In essence, the practice of discipline leads to the ultimate freedom—the freedom to live life on one's own terms, unrestrained by external influences or limitations.
Lesson number 9, Quit being a slave.
There are things in all of our lives that threaten to enslave us. Alcohol, sex, money, power—we must choose to abstain from letting these things control us. In the end, who is free if they have lost the ability to control themselves? Genuine freedom begins with the ability to control your vices and choose habits that serve you.
Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
Lesson number 10, Decide what you want
Definiteness of purpose is the starting place from which one must begin. The starting place of all achievement is the ability to know exactly what you want and having the determination to achieve it.
Lesson number 11, Nothing is impossible to the man who backs desire with enduring faith.
Simply having a purpose does not guarantee success. In fact, the best way to ensure your success is to back your burning desire with enduring faith. Simply put, you must know what you want, be willing to do whatever it takes to get it, and never lose faith that you will achieve it, no matter what difficulties arise.
Lesson number 12, Thoughts are powerful
Every man is what he is because of the dominating thoughts which he allows to occupy his mind. What do you think about all day? You may have not even paid much attention to it. However, in this book, Napoleon makes sure to emphasize the importance of thought. In fact, he claims that you are where you are in life because of the thoughts which you think consistently. Thoughts are powerful; make sure yours align with the kind of life that you want.
How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie
Lesson number 13, Become genuinely interested in other people.
In a culture that is extremely focused on itself, becoming genuinely interested in other people is a sure way to stand out. Don’t take this as a ploy to gain something from people. Rather, be authentic and seek to understand and learn from every person you meet. This is how you build great relationships. As humans, we like people who like us.
Lesson number 14, Remember people's names.
This may seem like a simple act, yet it is extremely valuable. Not only will remembering people's names make them feel seen and heard, but it will also make them want to remember your name as well. Remember, as humans, we like people who like us.
Lesson number 15, Become a good listener
Skilled conversationalists often shine brightest through their attentive listening. Mastering this skill requires continual practice, yet the rewards are invaluable. When we listen intently without interruption, we convey our esteem and regard for others. A practical approach is to dedicate 80% of the conversation to listening and reserve 20% for speaking.
Thank you for reading. I hope these lessons can help you on your own person development journey. Consider following me on X @thejimshields for more content like this.
